I have had an interesting time of late trying to identify a new ISP. Seems there is no single, unified place, anywhere in all of existence (that I can find) where I can provide only the service address and get a list of providers that service me. DSLReports and ShopForDSL are a step in the right direction, but both fall short. Both provide lists that include providers that are very distant and cannot provide service. Neither provides a comprehensive list, and both require a phone number for DSL qualification.

It would seem to me that in today’s day and age of technology and with our desire for instant gratification that someone, somewhere would have created a web site where an individual can provide only a service address and get a list of providers that service them.

Pretend Time….

You are new to the neighborhood. You have just purchased a new home or leased a new condo or apartment or whatever. In most cases, the basic utilities – gas, water, electric - are already on. It is just a matter of switching the billing to you. In some areas you may have more than one provider of these basic services to you and so everything below applies. But most of the time, those services are simply to setup.

Now all you have to do is accomplish the mind-numbingly simple task of establishing TV, phone and Internet service.

TV service usually comes to us through the air via antenna or satellite, or through a cable. There are two major satellite providers (DirecTV and Dish Network) so that is pretty simple if you choose that route. But you may not be able to receive a satellite signal due to a physical obstruction or some silly home-owners-association rule stating you can’t destroy the neighborhood and potentially spawn WW3 by placing an 20”, circular, disc anywhere on your OWN property (while I have never experienced this, I know others who have……it is profoundly silly…..so know your rights). Sometimes, due to (equally silly) local laws and restrictions, one or the other satellite provider will tell you they can’t provide service so you simply call the other one. Voila. Simple. Done. Now you can watch Survivorman.

But let’s say you either can’t get satellite, or, you simply don’t want to fight with the 300 pound, flowerdy moo-moo waring, HOA president who constantly has a cigarette dangling from her mouth and a perfectly worthless yap-yap miniature poodle in her arms. You want a cable based connection. Here is where it starts to get REALLY messy…..

If we search for “cable TV providers” online, we end up with a monstrous list. Of course that is a very wide open search which essentially does a query for ALL KNOWN cable TV providers that exist. You mighty think adding a zip code might narrow the list but, in fact, screws it all up and starts linking to HDTV discussion forums by zip and a myriad of other useless crap.

So how do I find local cable TV providers? Pick up the yellow pages (wow…..that is still being printed!?!?), flip to cable tv providers and start calling or hitting their websites)

On the surface, this seems like a simple enough resolution. But now we have to find a yellow pages. Probably simple enough….I don’t know…..I haven’t used a phone book in probably 10 years now. Then we have to call each and every cable provider. They will ask for a name in a feeble attempt to personalize the call but ultimately, the only piece of information they must have to determine availability is the service address. Yet we are forced spend time we don’t want to waste navigating through phone systems only to maybe get to a person who gives us a scripted, monotonous, lifeless sales pitch in an accent we can’t decipher.

Not so simple. And certainly not high on the customer satisfaction scale.

Phone Service — Not so many years ago, phone service was pretty simple to establish – only a single provider existed in any single area leaving the consumer little choice, but greatly simplifying the process of getting service. Phone service is in exactly the same boat as cable TV service. There is no single place you can go to find out who services your area. Searching online is pretty useless. Somehow you have to find a list of providers and then make calls to each one (with someone else’s phone) to verify before comparing service and purchasing. Amazing considering phones have been around for over 100 years now. Silly.

Internet Service – The huge thorn in my side right now. For the record, I do have an ISP. But I am going to briefly chronicle my desire to find an alternate ISP.

Internet Service has dependencies. You either have a phone line for dial-up or DSL, or a cable provider (usually the same one that provides TV services). There are the fringe users who use satellite or some other wireless broadband service, but dial-up, DSL, cable comprise the overwhelming majority of U.S. based Internet users. So establishing Internet Service depends on being able to easily and simply identify the above which we have already shown is neither easy or simple. In fact, it gets complicated even further with DSL because who you get DSL from is almost always tied to whom you get your phone service with and qualifying for DSL almost always relies on providing a phone number which you don’ have because you don’t want to switch phone providers just to get another ISP. Silly.

There are tricks to this – knock on your neighbors door and ask them for their phone number and provide that to a prospective DSL provider. Most likely you will be serviced by the same providers that can supply your neighbor. But the fact remains that there is no single location where I can provide that phone number and receive a comprehensive list of providers. You still have to call each and every provider and give them your neighbor’s phone number.

So….am I being unreasonable? Am I too far ahead of the curve? Is technology a limiting factor? Am I the only one who thinks this kind of site or service would benefit consumers? Am I the only one who thinks this could benefit the providers?

Let me know…..

 

Cheers!